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To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
